We use language to describe experience… and over time, those descriptions can start to settle—into labels, identity, and stories that shape how we understand (and sometimes judge) ourselves and others.

Over time, many of us develop identity stories about who we are in relationships. These stories can offer relief. They can help us make sense of ourselves. Help us find community, direction, and a sense of belonging.

And—

           they can also begin to harden, to feel fixed, and maybe even inevitable. What once felt like a way of understanding ourselves can start to quietly organize what we believe is possible, how we interpret conflict, what we allow ourselves to want, and who we think we’re allowed to be.

But those stories aren’t actually fixed, they only feel that way.

Beyond the Label: Loosening Identity Stories in Non-Monogamy offers a brave space to notice those stories. Exploring how they form, not to get rid of them, or replace them with something “better,” but to discover what becomes possible when we loosen our grip on them and begin relating to them with curiosity rather than certainty.

Not knowing is not a problem to solve here. It’s part of the practice.

Through guided reflection, discussion, and arts-based inquiry, we’ll experiment with another way of relating to ourselves: Where behavior is not a flaw in identity, but something that can be understood; and the goal is not to arrive at a clearer definition of who you are, but to practice staying attuned to yourself as your needs shift, and learning to recognize yourself across change. Rather than moving straight toward problem solving or offering new stories to replace the old ones, we will rumble with unknowing as a practice: engaging in embodied inquiry to help us notice what shifts when our stories are troubled without being dismissed.

Together, we’ll explore:

• how identity stories form in response to relationship, rupture, protection, and belonging
• how binaries (secure/ insecure, hierarchical/ non-hierarchical, monogamous/ non-monogamous, etc.) can quietly carry moral weight, and shape how we relate to ourselves and others
• what becomes possible when we stop treating these frameworks as verdicts that organize you—and start relating to them as tools that support you

You might be drawn to this space if:

• you’ve ever felt both helped and limited by the language you use to describe yourself
• you notice yourself trying to “get it right” in relationships, and often feel stuck when you think you don’t
• you feel pulled between different relational frameworks, identities, or values, and aren’t sure how to reconcile them
• you’re curious what might happen if you didn’t have to define yourself so precisely, or know exactly who you’re “supposed to” be
• you want to explore non-monogamy without turning it into another set of rules about who you’re supposed to be
• you’re curious what happens when certainty about yourself softens

This is a facilitated, educational space where:

• participation is always optional
• multiple truths can exist at once
• complexity is not reduced for the sake of clarity
• you’re invited to take what resonates—and leave the rest.

If you’re still reading and feel curious, confused, uncomfortable, or uncertain, you’re welcome to step into the room and rumble with us.